I was on MC today... Was having fever and flu.... Went to the doctor... Guess what??? No money to pay off the bill.... Thank God that you are there..... Or else I wont know how can I get the MC to submit to my mentor tml....
Was reading thru WK's blog.... He blogged abt his mum.... I remembered that 5yrs ago when his mum left the world, it was totally darkness for him..... The gang went down to the wake everyday to encourage him, to be with him.... I still remember the day when my mum left me.... I was like him crying and tearing.... It was barely 19years ago when she left me.... The moment is still in my mind.... How can I forget so easily... No one know the feeling....
I remembered Jas was sharing with me on our BKK+TW trips on the period where her dad was in and out of SGH.... I remembered I almost teared... Cos the memories of my uncle in ICU is still in my mind... Remember the period of time where the whole families members are there with him to fight the battle... I still remember that day I cried very badly, cant get to sleep, praying badly that he will make it thru the operations... I can see the blood stain on his nose, ears and head... Remembering how my aunt cried badly during the period... All of us cried in fact....
He is someone dear to me... He took care of me for barely 2 - 3 years when my mum is not with me together with my aunt.... Time flies very fast.... Its been 8mths after the incident.... How I wish he is able to stand up and scold me and joke with me.... All our lives started to changed when my uncle admitted and now lying on bed... I used to go to him and tell him alot of things that happen and he will teach me what to do or how to handle it situations but now that he hardly can talk, I only left with my small uncle....
I realize that we got to treasure the things around us... Never wait till we lose it then regret.... I have regretted twice this year... 1st is my uncle incident, 2nd is also someone very dear to me.... I lost him twice, and now still struggling to hold on to it.... I keep asking myself should I let go or should I not let go.... Who will understand how I feel and how much pain it had impacted me??? It links to alot of things....
If those who are close to me will know what happen to me last year during same period of time.... Its not easy..... Esp my birthday draws closer..... Its always like a birthday gift to me........ Every year the same....... How can I get up of this???????
I proclaim right now....... You idiotic DEVIL, leave me right now....... I HATE U~ I want peace to be with me.....
BLOGGED @8:25 PM
