I feel so emo today.. Spoken to dear and decided to call Daddy up to tell him abt the SP Power bill... To those that close to me, knows that I suffer from financial difficulties for 9mths plus... Trying hard to clear my bills n etc since I tendered last year....
Called Daddy in the morning, he say talk later....
Called him again at 6plus, wanted to have a sweet and nice talk with him, ended up it was a quarrel... I expected it... Cos it wasnt the 1st time already... I feel so upset... Daddy complaint that I didnt help the family at all... But I gave up my studies just to provide more fund for the 3 sisters to study... Isnt that enough??? To him it always not enough.... To him, I'm always in the wrong... Helping up in house hold chores will end up get scolded for helping... I hadnt enjoy myself for the past 9mths except those overseas trip that I went...
(ps: those are blessed by others ok, I hardly pay a cent)
It's like more than 16 years my dad didnt care for me... Ever since the day at the courts and I was being declare under my dad cares, I never see my Mum again.. Ever since that day, my dad never take care of me... All these while my uncles and grandma took care of me the most... I miss my grandma... She passed away 9yrs ago... And I was curse by my very own Dad for my grandma death... Can you imagine how I feel?? The curse that my very own Dad had on me... What the point of having me in the 1st place?? If you dont love me then why in the 1st place you wanna go thru so much troubles of keeping me?? All because of you want face, you scare grandma scold & nag, so you ask me to lie in the court... If I know this treatment that I will get today, I swear that I will never lie at court... I want my Mummy... I miss her... Those days that I was being ill treated.... Scares are still there... How can I forget it... I tried and the incidents keep repeating in my mind... Why must I go thru all these??? Why cant you just abort me 21yrs ago and I dont have to go thru all these... Its hurts... Really hurts...
Money!!!!!!!!!!! It all abt the word MONEY!!!!!!!!!!! Why everytime it about MONEY that you wanna argue with me????? Didnt I done my part to stop school so that you have more MONEY to buy a bigger car!!!! Have more MONEY to keep your wife pretty!!!! A child that had to stop school at the age of 16 to go out and work and being bully by the society and people are laughting at her at that age!!!!
No certicates, no skills, no knowledge.... All these are what I gone thru from all the people in the market place.... All the critism that I get... People calling me stupid... Brainless... No Mummy child... No one will appreciate what you do.... People forcing me to give up my hopes and futurs... Who is there for me when I go thru all these... Day time get mock by people, get home got nag by home.... Never ending until last year.... Anyone understand me??? No one....
No one understand me......
I wanna get out.... Get out of the house and never come back again.... Why must i go thru all these???????? ARGH!!!!!!!!!!
BLOGGED @10:31 PM
